Anger

Last weekend, the feeling of anger stayed with me for most of my Saturday.

Our neighbor upstairs parked his truck and trailer way beyond his parking space. As a result, I couldn’t park.

I came out of the car and asked them (nicely) to move their truck or at least fix it so I can park mine. They agreed. Life is good.

But it irritated the fuck out of me when he said the words “please cooperate for a bit”. Why? Because at that moment, they weren’t cooperative. Why the hell would I want to help you if you didn’t even consider the fact that you’re causing me inconvenience? Not just me but others too. My gut reaction wants me to yell my frustration out by coming up with negative thoughts such as egging his truck windows or perhaps take the air out of one of his tires. You know? Share my inconvenience. This isn’t the first time they’ve done this.

But I’m all talk and no action. I’d rather work with someone to come up with an agreement instead of trying to piss each other off and make things way worse than they really are.

If you let people get away with something, chances are they’re gonna do it again.

Sometimes, they do it unintentionally and that’s understandable. But if they do it again, one or two more times? Then shame on me for not pointing it out.

People make mistakes (we’re all human). But we’re also gifted with common sense that tells us that maybe (just maybe) we’re doing something wrong. We all feel that deep inside but our ego protects us by pointing out the other person’s mistake.

Reminds me of that time when I could’ve ran over a kid when I was backing my car up. Instead of blaming myself for not paying (extra) close attention, I blamed the parent for letting his child run around the parking lot. I was angry at the parent but I was also (secretly) angry at myself for being an irresponsible driver regardless of what the situation was. It doesn’t matter who’s right or wrong. Everyone shares that mistake. Everyone has a responsibility.

Misunderstanding could be considered the reason why people feel anger toward each other. But man, use that excuse accordingly. Alcohol is not an excuse. “Sorry I speak no English” is not an excuse. “Oh, I thought you said this or that” is not an excuse. When you fuck up, admit it!

But I also understand why I felt that anger towards others and also towards myself. I know because there was a phase in my life where I wanted to be…

Mr. Right

Mr. Right…ALL THE TIME. Because I was too focused on being right.

I enjoyed participating in disagreements – a chance to prove that my assumptions were right. But that didn’t give me a better understanding of the subject. Instead, it made me look like an asshole, an annoying little fuck.

But I changed since. That change took a while. Now I notice this behavior from others. That quick reaction to defending your belief, disregarding everything that comes out of the other person’s mouth. When that happens, nothing gets communicated between both parties.

We all wanted to be listened to and yet no one is willing to listen. Note: “listening” doesn’t mean hearing words, it means trying to understand what’s being said.

Our ego can make us deaf even if we can hear sounds clearly.

But dealing with our sense of ego is easier said than done. It’s always there waiting, waiting for the right moment to attack. And if you’re not on top of your “awareness” game then chances are it will catch you without you even noticing it.  Ego can sneak up on you…but you can fight back.

That ends my rant.

It’s Sunday. I wanna vent all that shit out before going to church 😀