Conversations I had this week with colleagues made me curious about what they know and what matters to them. And most importantly: WHY it matters.

Perhaps it’s none of my business. They own their life and (trust me) I do not intend to drive their decisions or provide unsolicited advice.

HOWEVER, I wanted to get a better understanding of their behavior. Why? It improves my ability to empathize with others – something I can use to either help or screw people over —Yes it goes both ways 😉

“My chances to be in a managerial position in this company is slim”

What’s so important about becoming a leader anyway? Don’t get me wrong, I had the exact same thoughts too (back then). But when I asked myself that question, I didn’t really have a good reason other than, “because then I can tell myself and the world I’m capable of more”.

That may very well be a valid reason but I wasn’t digging deep enough. Again, why does it matter so much to tell myself and the world that I’m capable of more?

To be honest, I don’t fucking know. I just know it sounds fuckin nice to be known that way. Egotistical reasons.

But please don’t misunderstand what I’m trying to say here. I’m NOT saying you shouldn’t aim to be a boss. If that’s your dream then, by all means, GO FOR IT.

The point I’m trying to make is that we focus so much on something we barely even understand. These desires were driven not by us but by the world around us.

Before, I desired to become a leader, but now I prefer to be good at supporting leaders – a follower, a mentee, a student. Why? Avoidance of responsibility, stress, work politics and dealing with day-to-day work-bullshit. Not my cup of tea. 

**PLEASE NOTE: I AM SAYING THIS IN THE CONTEXT OF WORKING A 9-5 JOB**

Context is important, but not a lot of people think that way. They just take that one sentence and convert it to something that supports their own selfish cause.

The questions you ask, give away the truth about what you really know

It irritates me when people ask questions that do not have any relevance to the topic at hand. I find it to be a waste of time. Perhaps they believe that an “intelligent person asks questions”?

I agree to a certain level but when you ask “stupid” questions (questions which are irrelevant and the ones that have obvious answers), you’re just making yourself look stupid. Ok, maybe not stupid. Perhaps a better word is “selfish”. Here’s why:

You didn’t spend enough time to investigate or cared enough to learn more about whatever you’re asking for (which I understand takes a little bit of time). So instead, you relied on the other person to do all the thinking for you.

Thinking, making decisions, and owning up to it takes a lot of mental energy and time AND accountability (which is why it’s tough to be a president, imagine how many decisions you have to make in a day).

AND when shit hits the fan, you (the asker, the one who needed an answer) wash your hands off from accountability because all you did was relay information. You’re just the messenger…right?

When something goes wrong, the common excuse is: “Oh I don’t know, this is what I was told to do”

You’re like a robot if you operate that way – can’t function unless a command is given. Whatever happened to the fact that you were hired to THINK and MAKE DECISIONS at the lower level. AI is going to take over the workplace soon. If you can’t make decisions and operate with empathy, then what makes you different from a robot or machine?

Remember, robots/machines are a lot cheaper and more accurate than humans.

Do you really understand what you’re saying? Or are you just repeating words?

Some people are good at providing answers they don’t fully understand. They do look smart on the surface though but the body language sometimes gives off the uncertainty in regards to their answer. This explains why you’re a skeptic to some people in your workplace. Your brain recognizes the uncertainty.

If someone asks me “Are you sure?” because they can tell that I’m not, I tell them straight up “No, I’m not sure” or I’ll say “I don’t know”.

Those two are the most common phrases people are allergic to saying. Why? It makes them look “unknowledgeable”. 

But what they don’t realize is people can see through their bullshit anyway so all the effort spent to masks that becomes irrelevant.

The point: You either you know or you don’t BUT keep in mind that people appreciate honesty regardless of how dumb or smart you’ll look from admitting it.