Resisting The Urge
I don’t fully understand why I’m “borderline addicted” to playing video games.
The reason: BlackOps IIII.
I spend about at least 1-hour every session…every day.
That’s 7-hours WASTED per week!
Then a disappointed voice inside whisper the words: “What the hell are you doing?!”
My answer: I don’t know. For some unknown reason, I…
CAN.
NOT.
STOP.
I don’t have complete control as if I keep getting possessed by the “PS4 demon”.
The 7-hours of play time could’ve been spent on some other more productive activity. But before you get all judgy, I can come up with legit excuses as to why it’s perfectly fine for me to play for an hour EVERY DAY. I mean, why not? I deserve it. After all, I’m working hard. Right?
Wrong! Along those lines are the words of someone who’s a borderline addict or maybe someone who’s already an addict.
No, I’m not a doctor so I don’t know for sure. These are all assumptions that should not be taken too seriously. But I noticed the following:
Every excuse we use to justify our actions only reinforces our delusion.
If that goes out of hand then it can spiral down to full-blown addiction.
That’s when we lose control of ourselves and (most likely) give in to the urges/temptations that come our way.
So then what to do when you’re nearing the point of no return?
First, recognize and acknowledge the triggers – why the hell am I so itchy to play? Is it because I like to compete with others? Do I miss the feeling of winning or outsmarting others? Do I want to experiment and try new things in the game?
The next step would be to remove as many of the triggers as you can.
To address my issue, I demanded Playstation to refund my “online play” subscription for this month (I was set-up for auto-subscription without realizing it).
No Subscription = No Online Play = No Fun = No Urge To Play
It pains me a little to do this but this is one of the best ways I can discipline myself.
Would you agree that it’s so much easier to cut *insert bad habit* off completely than to resist the urge to not do it?
Instead of figuring out how much gameplay I’m allowed to have (which involves a lot of assessment), wouldn’t it be more effective if I boil my decisions down to two:
- Play
- Don’t play.
And just as my subscription ended, so is my…
32-year Old Self
Yup, I’m now a year older.
Do I feel any different? No, of course not (not yet at least).
However, I wanted to feel different. No not this week but in the next 6-months.
I wanna feel at least 5% better/happier ON EVERYTHING – career, finance, health, relationship, and creativity.
It irritates me a little when people say “don’t change” because we are consistently evolving, day after day.
However, I do understand that these words are coming from a good place. I suppose what they meant to say was “keep doing the good things you’re doing”.
To bring my goals closer to reality, I took a day off this week to do some planning.
“Taking a day off” sounded like I was about to do some serious planning. But no. I just wanted to have a day off from all the worries of life. A day to…
Reflect + Reset + Recalibrate
After some serious thinking, I ended up making my goals very straight-forward: finish everything else I started last year and become better with everything else.
No grand vision or expectation for myself either. Setting expectations (for some reason) make it harder for me to follow through. Self-imposed pressure demotivates me.
A recent podcast I listened to has a good take on NYE resolutions. Instead of coming up with goals that don’t get followed, he boiled it down to doing these two things:
- Do more things that bring me joy and happiness.
- Do less of things that trigger negative emotions.
While people are excited over the NYE countdown, I’m busy worrying about the “depressing” kind of countdown:
How much time do I have left?
Sounds a little pessimistic but it brings me…
Clarity
…as to what I needed to prioritize in my life and well…how I spend my every day.
[Side Note] Limiting my video gameplay is one of them. From “borderline addict” to “complete control of the itch to play”.
Clarity is essential for planning.
To reach my goals, I obviously need to plan for it.
Remember the 6P’s?
Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance
But planning to me is similar to a guideline, not a strict rule I need to follow. Why?
I tend to deviate. Why?
Because unforeseen events happen. Or should I say “Shit happens”?
It’s the rated-M mantra that reminds me to always be prepared.
Not sure if you noticed how on most days, things are ok. That makes us comfortable.
However, prolonged “comfortableness” lead to us to become too comfortable.
That’s when Life swoops in to hit us with some challenging shit.
No, not because Life doesn’t want us to be happy but because it cares about us.
It knows how being too comfortable can lead to this weird type of depression aka boredom.
Life’s a roller-coaster. Shit is bound to happen. If not today, then maybe someday. And when the “shit” comes our way, how do you deal with it? Apply…
Stoicism – the antidote for “shit-happens”.
