Sometimes, there’s just no way you can meet all your time commitments because you said “yes” to all of them.

And when that happens, you’re bound to disappoint the people you made a commitment with – an unavoidable circumstance.

Hence, the reason why people cancel last minute – because something has to give.

It sucks to be on either end – one feels bad for canceling and the other feels disappointed why you canceled.

But that’s just the nature of it – the result of poor prioritization and time management.

I feel bad when I cancel on people – but when I do, I just hope my lack of presence is insignificant. That way, the sting is almost negligible.

Such as those meetings where your input is not really required but you were invited anyway because you needed to be aware.

And when you’re one of those people (who feels insignificant in the room), you can’t help but feel that you’re wasting your time and that you could’ve used that time on other important matters.

Same goes for personal events – I had to say no on some of them because agreeing to go will cause more damage to my schedule. That means, I’m going to have to give up some things that would cost me more in the long run.

I remember a time when I told a friend, “I’m not going”. The friend responded with, “Why not? This is the only time we’re gonna see each other. Darahrah-rahrah you’re being selfish”.

And he is right, I am being selfish – but I have a legit excuse he may not understand.

Have you ever been to a group gathering when things are a little awkward and no one is really sharing any interesting stories about their lives?

Then you guys just end up talking about other people instead of talking about yourselves?

I don’t know about you but I find those events to be draining.

Perhaps it’s a result of my introverted/awkward personality.

Or maybe because I’m finding more value in a one-on-one conversation with someone as opposed to talking to everyone in the group.

My lack of skills in small-talk does not permit me to engage well in a group setting.

Awkward silence…that’s the worst.

When I’m the host, I wanna make sure no one is left out, everyone matters.

This reminded me of that dinner we had with this manager at work. Instead of talking about herself and/or her interest, she engaged with everyone in the table, making sure everyone had input.

When that happens, being in a group of people you barely know becomes more bearable.

Unlike that lunch I had with a previous boss where we talked about hockey and politics. I couldn’t chime in because I have zero knowledge on the subject. My move? Sit, STFU and finish my food very slowly, long enough for them to wrap up the conversation.

Looping back to what my friend said about me, what he may not realize is that I also feel guilty – guilty of being selfish. *collateral damage

Another reason for this is to shed light on the fact that I’m not as nice as some people thought.

And when that happens, people will already know what to expect from me which would also lessen the number of invites I have to say “no” to. The less “nos” I give, the lesser the chance I cause a disappointment to others.

This isn’t about doing what’s right and what’s wrong.

But this is a truth most of us are guilty of but don’t want to admit.