Heavier Weights

I recently bought heavier weights – not really to grow muscles but to keep things more challenging.

To be clear, the real goal was really to build bigger muscles (to gain more weight). However, I did not rush myself into it until I got to a point where the workout felt too easy.

Easy is boring. I remember seeing guys in the gym, lifting super heavy weights but made it seem like they’re lifting feathers – super fast reps with subtle grunts and silent screams. Seeing those people irritated me a little until I learned not to give a f*ck and mind my own business.

Before you pick up those dumbells in the gym, do you look around first to check how heavy the weights most people are using?

Do you try not to pick up weights lighter than what everyone else is lifting?

Then you try those weights and realize you couldn’t lift them in perfect form because they’re too damn heavy?

When you workout – do you do it for your health? Or for your ego?

I remember avoiding the dumbbell section of the gym because I was too embarrassed with the weight I’m lifting. But over time I learned not to give a f*ck. I lifted lighter weights despite the thoughts and insecurity that goes through my head. Instead of thinking “Man, I wonder what these f*ckers think of me with the weights I’m lifting? I’m gonna get called a wuss”, the script in my head now says “Hmm I’m not trying to compete with everyone else. I’m a selfish f*ck who only cares about competing with himself”.

That’s not really the reason why I workout at home. Well, it’s one of the reasons. The real reason is: I only allow 1-hour in my schedule for working out. That includes – setting it up, working out, water breaks, and cleaning it up.

Those heavier weights made me want to workout more because it gave me a new “mountain to conquer”. But I don’t see myself loving to workout so much that it becomes an…

Addiction

A co-worker is trying to quit smoking again for the 5th time.

Multiple attempts – that tells me he really wanted to do quit. However, I don’t fully understand what makes it THAT difficult. I don’t fully understand it. The closest thing I can relate to addiction is my love for playing video games.

I agree that is totally different. But when I play, I immerse myself in it – forgetting about the real world. The real world is filled with challenges, obstacles, and other problems. It causes me to dismiss my “responsibilities”. No, I’m not talking about kids or pets, but responsibilities to help me become a more effective individual for myself and for others. Personal responsibilities such as:

• a mess that needs to be cleaned up.
• workout
• pick-up groceries
• cook
• eat healthily
• sleep on time

If you wanna become better at helping others, learn how to better yourself first. However, it’s a lot easier said than done when we’re dealing with the temptations of addiction. Things can go out of hand. We lose full control of our will. I THINK that’s what addiction does.

Dealing with it takes a deliberate amount of practice. It doesn’t go away just like that. Some can do it instantly. Some can’t. Perhaps it will help if you don’t torture yourself with…

Guilt

Mistakes are normal, especially for beginners. Why expect so much from yourself when you just started getting into it?

It doesn’t mean you’re stupid. It just means that you’re becoming more aware of the pitfalls. The more pitfalls you recognize, the better you are at navigating your way to success. After all, it would be very very very tough to be 100% mistake free even when you’re a grand master at it (whatever that thing is). The people who are “good at what they do” are good not because they’re naturally good at it but because they’ve done enough mistakes that they know when to proceed or when to fallback from an obstacle.

So why then do we punish ourselves too hard when we make a mistake? And often, we are harsher at punishing ourselves than others. You’re thinking that maybe being harder on yourself will ensure that you don’t make that mistake again. That may work but it makes you feel like sh*t for a long period of time. Perhaps a better way is to simply recognize the mistake, acknowledge it, set a time to feel bad about it and then move on?

When people ask me for advice, I asked them why and they say something along the lines of “because I’m good at handling it”. But almost all the time, I disclose the fact that I messed up a lot on that area and then I end it by giving an advice where they need to make the decision on their own.

I prefer for people to be accountable for their decisions. I am sometimes reluctant to give an advice because most people treat the advice as a ticket to “escape accountability”. Meaning, if my advice fails then they can easily blame the failure on me. They did not fail. I did.

That’s how much we hate failure. I’m the same. I hate admitting to myself I made a mistake. I hate it more if I have to admit it to other people. This tells me that I haven’t learned how to manage my ego. Which is why I meditate to become very good at…

Observation

…at observing my own thoughts: Why did I do what I did? Where did the decision come from? What existing beliefs do I have that drove that decision? Does this belief benefit me? Or is it hurting me? What can I do to reduce the chances of making that mistake again?

Yea I tend to think a lot of my own behavior. I also like to profile people – I test this skill by making assumptions and ask them how close I am with that assumption. The better I can read their intentions behind their actions, the better I can help them (or screw them over if my evil persona kicks in…jk).

This is the kind of thing I love to read, to write about, to share. Perhaps this started when I was a kid – when I couldn’t figure out how my grandma is always one step ahead of me. She always calls me out on my bullsh*t. My mom does the same. This COULD be the reason why I love learning and talking about: deception, outsmarting others, persuasion, stealth games or spy shows/movies.

Or perhaps because I’m short and poor in academics. I needed to learn these things to make up for my lack of physical and mental attributes. If I still lived in the world of hunters and gatherers maybe my job would be to be somewhere in-between..?

That’s what my blog is going to be all about: Why do people do what they do?