Start Over

That’s the smartest thing you can do after going through a painful event. Not easy? Of course, it’s not, that’s the reason why it was there in the first place – to toughen you up.

Those difficult times when you wondered “How the hell am I going to get through this?” (and yet you made it through) was also the exact same moment when a tougher version of yourself showed up.

My grandma is 94. She’s been through a lot of challenging shit, from hiding from the Japanese army back in WW2 to intense earthquakes to flash floods. 

I don’t know what goes through her head whenever she deals with these painful events. But what I came to realize was…

Whatever pain you are experiencing right now is actually the Universe’s way of preparing you to deal with a much more painful event that will happen in the future.

So before that happens, the Universe is generous enough to find ways to throw some challenges at you to slowly increase your resistance to pain, fear, and surprises.

We constantly evolve. Muscles break but they become stronger after they heal. However, a lot of us avoid pain as much as we can especially emotional pain (rejection, dealing with loss, humiliation, embarrassment, etc). But instead of avoiding, why don’t we just let it, welcome it. I’m not saying you go out there seeking pain cuz that’s just plain masochistic (borderline stupid?). All I’m saying is that the painful events that happen in life are always going to be there – we just get better at dealing with them. Avoiding pain will only weaken you (emotionally speaking). Instead, dare greatly. Be the man in the arena…

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; . . . who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” —Theodore Roosevelt

But it all starts with…

Self Awareness

I noticed myself talking like a “YES-man” when I was on the phone with the Director of Engineering. I’m disgusted with myself. My body language automatically changed from “confident” to “Oh shit! I better not say anything stupid or unprofessional”

It happens, especially when you’re communicating with people of authority. It also happens when you’re in a “high-reward high-risk” scenario such as job interviews, on a date or a game show? Our reptilian brain is wired to react instantly. We either freeze or act like a totally different person.

Meditation can help you tame that reptile brain of yours because it trains you to become more aware of your thoughts and whatever surrounds you. And because I was aware of my change in behavior, I made sure that I don’t sound like a people-pleaser next time I’m on the phone with him.

Most of us tend to put these people on a pedestal – but we shouldn’t. Putting them on a pedestal will only reinforce the fact that you’re a “nobody”. And if you’re a nobody then you can’t really expect people to rely on you. And if you’re unreliable then you can’t expect management to keep you.

The truth is, you’re half-responsible with the way people treat you. If everyone thinks you are a piece of shit then maybe you are – a piece of shit.

Our ego (when it goes out of control) can cloud our judgment, disabling us to see reality.

This made me pay more attention to how I talk to others and study the way I communicate with them. I bought books on body language and how to effectively communicate (I’m giving them away in case you’re interested). You’re probably thinking “I’m overthinking things”. That may be true but sounding like a people-pleaser is not the way I want to be perceived.

We can take full ownership of how people view us.  The same way you can take full responsibility for turning a bad situation into something that actually benefits you. An example was when I didn’t get to do my morning routine because of my…

Alarm Clock

But I’m glad that my body clock was conditioned to wake up at least 30-mins before I leave for work.

I was a little angry (at myself) for failing to wake up early. My first instinct was to blame my phone – for not ringing loud enough. But blaming technology is a lousy excuse for my inability to set it up properly.

Instead of punishing myself for waking up late, I convinced myself I should be glad because I had extra 30-mins of sleep – I feel more restful.

That change in perspective helps A LOT in reducing the negativities in your life.

I try to practice it as much as I can regardless if it’s something as simple as missing my alarm clock or something more serious such as not getting a job I applied for.

It’s the mindset I wanted to reinforce: when things don’t work out, make it work for you anyway. Extreme ownership.

I take the same approach with the way I promote my artwork: by recognizing the lesson in my failures.

The testing is done for my e-commerce shop. It…failed, it didn’t gain enough traction which means it’s time to pivot – to do another…

Experiment

I’m going to sell my printed artwork (as a test) on Kijiji and some other items I wanted to get rid off.

One man’s junk is another’s treasure – garage sale.