Stress

At times, I wonder if I’m really stressed.

In fact, I’m not even sure what it really means or what it feels like.

Everyone has their own definition of it.

Mine means, “An open issue that stays in your head for more than 8-hours”.

Whether that’s accurate or not, it doesn’t matter.

But that’s what my week was like (at work). I was worried about missing my deadlines. But why am I so worried about it in the first place? Is it because…

…I don’t want others to think I can’t handle the demands of the job?

…it will tarnish my reputation as someone who always gets the job done on time?

…I’m afraid of upsetting the person who is patiently waiting for my work so he/she can continue on with his/her job?

I had to dig deep. I’m wired to dig deep into my thoughts. However, I don’t dwell in there and do nothing but think about worst case scenarios.

I do it so I can figure out exactly why it got me there in the first place and find ways how to prevent it from happening again.

The focus is more on prevention rather than the solution.

“I’ve got too much shit on my plate!!”

…is a lame excuse.

It only means you cannot manage your time properly and you’re working inefficiently. Most of us blame the system and use that as an excuse for our failure to do our job properly.

But what if we look the other way? Look at ourselves and see the reality of our capability. If we suck then that just means we need to improve. But if we suck and blame the system for our suckiness then chances are, we will not improve. We just get better and better at finding excuses.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you should be superman – always there to save the day. Sometimes, it’s just not possible to get things done on time especially when there’s only 24-hrs in a day. But the problem will carry on. So unless you do something right away, whatever shit you’re dealing with will probably get worse.

Whenever the conditions around a problem are stacked against me, I always tell myself to…

Go For The Next Best Thing

We always try to aim for the ideal solution to our problem. But the chances of having everything in their “ideal conditions” rarely happens.

“If so and so would’ve done it this way then we shouldn’t be having this problem!”

“If they gave us enough time to finish the work, then we shouldn’t be rushing to get this done”

“All my superiors are away. I’m not authorized to make that decision…”

You know what I mean? We almost always rely on other people to help us get through our problem. Mainly because we’re not responsible for them. However, I find it to be a poor strategy because you spend your time just waiting or bitching instead of doing something about it.

Meditation and Stoicism helped a lot in developing this kind of mental toughness.

A better strategy is to develop the habit of being PROACTIVE in dealing with the problem instead of REACTIVE.

Something failed? If so, what are you going to do to better the situation?

Resist your inner bitch.

Another question I ask myself is…

What’s The Worse That Could Happen?

We become so worried that we forget to put in the time to do something about our problem.

Tim Ferriss’ TED Talk on Fear Setting can explain this better. I tried it before and it works!

The exercise serves as an antidote to our paralysis to the deep shit we’re in or about to get into.

It opens up another gate to consider why we’re even worried about the problem.

Dig deep. Ask yourself the “5 Why’s”.

• Why are you worried about *fill in the blanks*?
  • Alright, why do you think that is?
    • Hmm, why is that?
      • Ok but why?
        • I see, but why?

The more you understand your fear around the problem, the better you can address the issue.

I missed one of my deadlines. And no I didn’t die. I didn’t get in shit. No one gave me a hard time (not yet).

But something worse had happened…

11:30 PM – Thursday – 2018

I got up in the middle of the night to vomit. Not once but twice (2-hr interval). I was scared as shit because that never happened to me before – EVER in my entire life.

At first, I thought it was carbon monoxide poisoning – the air had a hint of smoke around our area, not sure where it’s coming from. Forest fire in Ontario?

Paranoia kicked in so I opened all our windows, turned off the AC and get more of that outside air (even though it had a hint of burning smell).

When the paranoia calmed down, I decided to go back to bed. One hour later, I had the urge to get up again – hugged the toilet – vomit. My body rejected all the kimchi I consumed for dinner.

Then I started to wonder, “Perhaps it’s food poisoning…? Or maybe the stomach flu?”. Unable to find an answer, I consulted Google for non-professional advice.

I spent about 15-minutes trying to decipher what’s wrong with me. But then I realized it was all a waste of time.

I’m not a doctor. The only reason why I’m looking for answers on the internet is that I was desperate to find an explanation to whatever I’m suffering from.

But let’s say I found an answer, what would happen then? The problem will still be there and I’m still unsure if it’s really the problem. Back to square one.

After realizing that, I went back to bed and decided to call in sick for work so I can get myself checked by the doctor – someone who I can rely on for a professional answer or advice.

Doctor’s diagnosis? It wasn’t stomach flu. My stomach has too much acid in it that it forced the spicy fermented kimchi out of my system.

Thank goodness it wasn’t stomach flu. And because I finally found an answer to my “midnight-puke fest” and also because I’m also caught up at work, my worries are put aside.

Now I can get a good…

Sleep

Matthew Walker’s Book “Why We Sleep” helped me get a better understanding of my caffeine and melatonin intake.

I just started reading the book and yet I’m already learning a lot about sleep.

One chapter that stuck out to me was “AM I GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP?”

If the answer is “yes” to the following conditions, then chances are, you’re not getting enough sleep:

• Do you feel like you can fall back to sleep at around 10:00 AM or 11:00 AM?
• Can you function properly without caffeine in the afternoon?

Then it led me to fill out this questionnaire:

 

And Ariana Huffington’s Sleep Questionnaire: [link here]

As per SATED questionnaire, my Good Sleep Health is 7

As per Ariana H’s Sleep Questionnaire, my score is 25

My conclusion: My sleep pattern/habit is OK.

What about you?