Purpose

When Life gets too tough to a point where you’re ready to give up on its challenges – it almost a given to entertain the idea of ending it.

However, while that may seem like it’s the only option available – there’s always a better option: to keep going – to LIVE.

That’s easier said than done especially for people (like me) who hasn’t gone through that kind of challenge before. I can only experience that kind of pain through other people’s story.

The guest speaker from the United Way Campaign for this year (held at work) shared his story about his first few weeks in the hospital due to stroke. The inability to move freely made him feel helpless. I couldn’t imagine how deadly that is to the ego. Someone who used to provide care and service FOR other people is now the recipient of care and service FROM other people.

The paralysis slowly drove him (little by little) to lose the purpose he once had. Which could further lead to depression and could further develop into giving up the will to live.

But luckily, he was able to turn things around that day, when he saw how sad his kids were (who were minors at that time) when he was about to say goodbye. He saw the same sad look they gave their mom when she passed away at an early age.

The thought of leaving his kids on their own wasn’t something he was willing to put up with. This gave him a new purpose: to raise his kids. And so he fought – like the soldier he once was when he was in the army.

Fueled by a new sense of purpose, he lived. And continues to live to this day to inspire everyone who lost their sense of purpose – not simply to survive but to either LIVE their purpose or live to FIND their purpose.

Stories from family members who have gone through somewhat the same level of emotional and mental pain provided me with a better idea of the experience my girlfriend is going through right now. I want to understand even though I’m aware that I wouldn’t be able to fully understand it until I get there. However, this vague understanding helps with clarifying my purpose – a wake-up call to define what really matters.

Not only that but to learn to be more appreciative of the time we’re given. We all know we are going to die someday. We just don’t know when. Some will say, “Live your life today as if you’ll die tomorrow” but I don’t think they fully understand what it means. They see it as “experience pleasure today for Life will take it from you tomorrow”. I’m not saying they are wrong or that their level of understanding is lacking something. But I strongly believe that “living” is the ability to experience both pain and pleasure in Life WHILE facing its daily challenges – to strengthen us as an individual. And why exactly would Life want that? Simply because it wants to…

create a better future for the next generation.

The stronger/better we are today, the stronger/better the future generation will be.

My girlfriend’s dad and her family’s fight to conquer the challenges of Stroke is still on.

There isn’t much we can do but to pray and hope for the best. Maybe a miracle. I don’t know. Perhaps her dad’s will to live will grant him that much-needed miracle.

As of today, that little sign of miracle showed up. I really hope those little drops of miracle will keep coming – to set him up to face a new set of challenges: to fully recover and live life once again to FIND his NEW purpose.

While experiencing/dealing with pleasure doesn’t require a lot of training, experiencing and dealing with pain does. That’s why I practice…

Stoicism

Reading books on psychology/philosophy has given me the gift of changing my perspective to produce a more positive outcome.

Last night, I waited for about 20-minutes in the cold outside waiting for the driver of the car who was in my parking spot. The car was on – which made me assume the driver will be back right away. But stupidfck was in his pajamas chillaxing by the window. One of our neighbors recognized him and asked him to come down to move his car.

Inconsiderate fcks like that get on my nerves. I thought about calling a tow truck because I was that pissed off and I wanted him to feel my frustration.

But after a while, I calmed down. Resorting to anger isn’t going to help the situation get any better. So I just said to him, “Man…I’ve been waiting here for a while. Maybe next time, you should pay a little more attention to where you’re parking. Perhaps you should familiarize yourself with the cars around to give you a clue”.

He was sorry. Mistakes happen. AND almost all the time? It’s unintentional.

But sometimes, it requires a lot of patience and understanding to deal with inconsiderate fcks individuals like that.

I’m already going through something and I don’t need another headache to add in my list.

We all know shit happens. I counter it by practicing stoicism.

Stoicism is like a flush toilet – it deals with the shit by taking it in instead of spitting it out.

Gross analogy but it’s the best one I can come up with at the moment.

Also note that Stoicism doesn’t only help with dealing with shit (or challenges in Life). It also serves as a reminder of the things that are really important in Life.

No, it’s not our ego (sometimes we mistake our ego for self-worth – THEY’RE DIFFERENT) or any other material things or entitlement we deserve. It’s our ability to be selfless and be helpful to others – to do what matters.

I read The Daily Stoic (by Ryan Holiday) every day to remind me that.

Another reminder I started doing (just recently) is writing daily in my journal about what I really want in life. It fuels up my…

Hunger

Hunger to succeed.

Though our definition of “success” is subjective – I just simply want to become better at dealing with life’s daily challenges. That may include but not limited to finance, physical health, mental health, and emotional well-being.

Lately, I feel like I’ve fallen behind – I’m starting to become complacent. I want to demand more from myself even though I feel like I’m already using my time efficiently.

But that’s exactly where the problem is – feeling like I’m doing enough means that I don’t need to do more – a recipe for complacency.

I’m sure much of you already feel accomplished. But I’m sure much of you have also wondered what it would be like if you accomplished more. The lack of desire to grow leads to “death”. No, not physically but spiritually.

But please please please NOTE I’m not saying you shouldn’t experience pleasure. All I’m saying is that we shouldn’t be afraid to take a little more risk – a little higher each time we conquer one -and enjoy its rewards.

I think that’s the reason why Life would consistently throw us its challenges – to force us to pursue continuous growth and find a higher purpose.

Lack of challenges = Lack of growth = Lack of Will to Live = No Purpose.

Who the hell am I to preach anyway? I’m a nobody just like you.

So instead of hearing it from me, here it from Ray Dalio, author of Principles.

Who’s Ray Dalio? One of the ultra-rich/successful people in the world of investing.

So if you’re into UFC, HGTV, ESPN, MTV or Food Network, there’s a high chance you wouldn’t know him.