…That’s A Wrap

The year will end soon.

It’s that week you wanna leverage to tie as many loose ends as you can (so they don’t carry over next year).

But tying the loose ends is not that easy when your focus is just…off.

On Thursday, at work, I found myself checking the clock more frequently than the usual, waiting for the day to be over already.

Watching the time is an alarming sign that it’s time to QUIT – to stop doing whatever the hell it is you’re doing because from that moment forward you’re doing a half-assed job.

And when you are doing a half-assed job, you miss those small details that could get you in trouble.

But I suppose this week is an exception.

I’m like everyone else – already on “Holiday Mode”.

But that lack of focus spilled over how I function overall as if my mind is “scattered all over the place”. 

There are too many things happening at once that it added more to my mental load than the usual – fixed reservations I booked in the past, dealing with refunds, paying unwanted credit card, itching to play BlackOps 4, think about buying gifts here, bring food there, when to get the gift and all that jazz.

Yea, those little things add up. And when they add up to a good amount – I get stressed. Stressed because I’m overwhelmed with things I need/want to do.

And when I’m overwhelmed, I tend to default to: not do anything…

…like [Buridan’s ass].

Because: overwhelm leads to indecision.

I had to tell myself…

“Get Your Sh*t Together”

Ok, sure, but how?

Got up at 4:10 AM.

Drank a full glass of water to re-hydrate myself.

Brewed my French Roast coffee.

Pulled my pencil and journal out.

And wrote…wrote ALL the excuses and bitching that happens in my head to justify why I feel like I’m “scattered all over the place”.

Excuses that came up were the following:

• Feeling Sick = I’ve always had this feeling as if I’m going to get the common cold or flu but it never fully develops. Hard to explain. Let’s just say I’m 60% sick but not really sick – just feeling off.
• Lack of Exercise = I haven’t done any type of physical activity for the past 2 months.
• Holiday Season = gift shopping, holiday events to attend to and the desire to be lazy.

Writing helps me move the mental clog from my head onto a piece of paper. It serves as my personal psychoanalyst – helping me gain clarity of my behavior towards the things I do to myself, my work and to others.

Whatever I’ve written can either be thrown out, dismissed or analyzed for further self-understanding.

[Side Note] As soon as I write the word “mental” I can’t help but imagine you guys thinking I have mental issues lol. Well…that may be true too haha.

Anyway, writing on my journal helped me:

• re-assess the “path” I’m taking
• course-correct the “path” I’m on
• recalibrate myself to finish all the things I started this year.

[Jeptionary] “Path” (/paht/) – is the vague list of things I wanted to accomplish to better myself.

However, whispers from Lazy RJ says…

Relax, It’s Christmas For F*s Sake

Sounds tempting.

I’m not saying I’m not going to have a “f*ck-all-kind-of-day” (aka rest day) but I shouldn’t let that temptation blind me from realizing that I can use some of the “downtime” to work on other things I’ve been wanting to do:

• Draw new series with MSPaint
• Write for some Publication on Medium
• Write articles about my journey
• Create a Sales Page
• Read a book
• Create a “system” to make myself more consistent at being productive.

Yup, I intend to use the holiday break to set myself up for a better year – next year.

Now I’m not saying it wasn’t a good year, in fact, it was a GREAT YEAR – but if I can make next year even better, then why wouldn’t I?

I feel blessed as a lot of things that happened in my life that I’m grateful for. This probably explains why I’m not really into (receiving gifts).

Or maybe because I was brought up not to care much about gifts.

Or because I rarely receive gifts.

Or perhaps I really just don’t give a crap?

Please note that I’m also a hypocrite and I often contradict myself.

So regardless of the reason, it doesn’t matter that much.

But what matters more is that…

if there’s that one gift that could turn your life around, what would it be?