Sometimes, people just don’t get it.

Like that time when people threw away their common sense for the sake of their own selfish needs. Those times when you find them so stupid you wanna shoot yourself because you couldn’t quite understand where their logic is coming from. And yet you can’t bitch about it because you need to be polite. So you’re forced to hold that anger.

Challenging? Abso-f*ckin-lutely!

It’s very challenging to suppress the Hulk inside of you. But hold it for as long as you can because blowing up will only make the situation messier than they already are.

This week, I survived the war between myself and other co-workers I branded as “not so smart”.

I held it in…but it consumed a lot of my energy.

Described below are origins of each battle I survived:

***START OF RANT***

Chapter – 1

The Distress Call

Someone from my team left me a total of 7 empty voice mails. 

When I received this person’s first 3 messages, I had an impression that their distress call concerns a matter of life-or-death. But before calling back, I decided to delete the empty voicemails to make room for more urgent voicemails.

While I was in the process of deleting, more messages came up (4 more I think). I checked and they call came from the same person. And again empty voicemails.

I then realized this person kept calling, leaving messages WHILE I was busy trying to get rid of her empty voicemails.

To stop the cycle (of adding and deleting empty voicemails), I called this person back right away.

It turns out that the issue is something very minor *smoke came out of my ears out of irritation.

I was itching to confront and tell this person to calm the fuck down with the phone calls and messages. If it’s that urgent, then come talk to me in person and we’ll address the issue right away.

I let it slide this time.

However, if it happens again then I’m gonna let this person have it.

Chapter 2

The Self-Conscious Low-Self Esteem (SCLS)

These people think other people are always judging their actions. They have a pre-conceived view of themselves and they are always hunting for signals or proofs to confirm it. Narcistic? Hell yea.

SCLS: I got that e-mail from Engineering. I’ll forward it to you once I’m done cleaning it up.

**In my head**

OK, that sounds like this person is doing me a favor. But buddy, you don’t need you to clean things up for me.

***

Me: Just send me the e-mail anyway

SCLS: No, let me sort it out first. There was a mistake in my e-mail.

Me: Huh? Ok. Why? Just forward it

SCLS: No, I’ll send it to you when it’s sorted out.

**In my head**

So then why the hell would you give me a heads up for? How does that serve me if you’re not going to give me the info I need anyway?”

***

 Me: *Irritated* You know what? Let’s sort it this out later…

1 hour later…

He sent me the file I needed – all sorted and everything. Again, I THINK this person thinks he is doing me a favor for cleaning things up for me. Perhaps a “Thank You” from me is what was expected and would be much appreciated. But I ended up responding back by phoning him:

Me: Where is the ORIGINAL e-mail I asked for?

SCLS: Why? You don’t trust me? You don’t trust the file I sent you?

**In my head**

The fuck are you talking about? Where the hell is this coming from? Sonuva! Now I need to de-escalate the situation!!

**

Me: I need it for documentation.

SCLS: *silent*

Me: *feeling bad and irritated* I apologize if I offended you in any way but I just needed the original e-mail because I have my own documentation process that I prefer to follow.

Prior to this, I provided him with constructive criticisms – to help out. But most of it was taken the wrong way. I did not realize that some people can’t take criticisms even though they say they can.

This broke my heart a little because I do care about this person. I cared because I was like him when I was starting out my career – I DIDN’T KNOW SHIT.

I can tell this person is eager to show that he knows shit…but the more this person tries – the more he looks like it’s all guesswork. 

So then I decided to not help out at all and let him screw up. That’s how I learned anyway. It must have bees a mistake to try to help out in the first place.

Or perhaps my method of teaching is not working the way I thought it should.

Chapter 3

Privileged: You’re Obligated To Help Me

This person is well aware that I have no choice but to comply -it’s the job.

However, this person is asking for things that she barely understands. What makes me say that? She asks about things with answers that are considered to be a “well-known fact”.

And when you’re busy trying to get shit done, that last thing you need is to address stupid inquiries that take time and yet provides no value.

The matter is very technical that I wouldn’t be able to describe it properly. But here’s the non-engineering version. Let’s say…

Our customer want’s a phone that can be used as an instant translator:

You speak a foreign language to it – it talks back and says it in English.

Seems doable right? The problem is, we haven’t done it before. To make that happen, we need to allow for a huge amount of engineering hours and testing.

This means it’s going to be uber expensive.

And if it’s a ridiculous ask, any research done to it will go to waste because the higher-ups won’t even bother looking at it.

The deal? The customer is only willing to order 5 of these things. Let’s say the engineering hours and testing cost $50,000. You divide that cost to 5 phones. That equals to $10,000 for each phone.

$50,000 (research) / 5 (total quantity) = $10,000/ea

Now, who (I’m talking about average people) in their right mind would want to buy a $10,000 phone?

She understands that but then she goes…

Priveleged: Can we do this?

Me: No…and we don’t wanna do it (for reasons I mentioned above).

Priveleged: What would it take to make this happen?

Me: I don’t know. We need to dig further into that. *I didn’t really wanna do it because it’s a waste of my time*

Me: Besides, you’re going to get a “No” from engineering anyway because the effort is just not worth it.

Priveleged: Can you please find out anyway? I need to understand what it would take to make this happen.

What she’s asking for is perfectly legit which is why it bugged the fuck out of me. But here’s what she didn’t take into account:

• • • • • The customer is not buying 1 million phones that would justify the work involved to get it done.
        • Inquiry takes time. Research takes time. I don’t even know where to start. And I have a deadline to meet that day.

Irritated but needed to be polite, I gave her a fluff answer that sounded a little technical, something that would make her leave me alone.

It worked 😛

However 2 hours later…

This person sends me another e-mail inquiry:

Why can’t we do “X” while our competition can?

Note: “X” is a critical system that is unique to our competition’s product.

That sounded to me like: 

Why can’t “dogs” think like “cats”?

I looked at the ceiling and wished that someone would shoot me. I responded politely with:

Their brains are different.

However, a brain transplant is possible.

BUT here’s the thing, it’s going to be VERY EXPENSIVE and it would take a VERY LONG TIME to get it to work.

I will recycle what I said earlier…not.worth.the.effort…

***END OF RANT***

My patience was put to the test.

I’m glad I was able to hold it in (though I had to vent out about it at home).