I complain about the workload, even when I understand how complaining isn’t really going to solve the problems I need to address.

I’m experiencing another form of burnout. I felt like crying at one point, must be because I’m overwhelmed and I can’t quite put in the right kind of quality work I want to provide. The lack of time — the pressure of meeting deadlines, can make you feel helpless. Sure, “work” is just “work” and it shouldn’t be tied to my ego. But the reality is, these crazy deadlines show a side of me I rarely see:

When things become overwhelming, I also feel like escaping…

***

And I did…

I escaped for a few days, physically, to help me get my mind off of work. I was able to hang out with a project manager friend. Project managers deal a lot with surprises — when things don’t go as planned. I also had a chance to have a conversation with a friend who is a service tech (who also works for the same company I work for). His job is to address all the bus issues before putting it back on the road. Again, another problem solver.

Chitchatting with these people helped because it normalized the kind of challenge I’m going through right now.

***

Whenever deadlines make me feel overwhelmed, I wonder if I’m cut out for the job?

However, at the same time, my failure to control the situation shows me how much more I need to grow as an employee. Work gives me the opportunity to learn to become better at dealing with pressure. When you’re playing the championship game, the worst you can do is freeze.

I need to learn to step up my game and mold my instinct to get shit done even when you’re exhausted.