Secret Meeting
I kept things on the down-low at work about how I just became a dad.
Some knew but most don’t. I tend to share personal stories only to people who I feel like they really cared. Why do I do this?
Because I’m not nice. Not in a sense that I do bad things to people. It’s just that I prefer to “mind my own business” WHICH is a synonym of: I don’t have the desire to learn about the latest happenings of my co-worker’s lives.
I hold privacy very dearly.
But note that if people share their stories, I listen.
However, there are also times when people prefer to stay quiet about stuff.
And if that was the case, I don’t feel the need to pry out information from them.
Office gossip is something I wanted to stay away from.
No, I’m not saying that my recent transition to fatherhood is gossip – it’s actually the truth. And I feel super blessed. However, you won’t see me show it.
Another reason why I don’t share is that being the center of attention makes me uncomfortable.
Now that I think about it, that’s probably the main reason why I don’t like sharing stories when conversating with people.
But I do share stories; online; you’re reading it now.
Somehow, the news of my recent fatherhood was leaked anyway.
This was due to people who couldn’t hold their excitement about the news. One of my supervisors congratulates me on my desk. Her “Congratulations!!” was delivered in a volume that my cubicle neighbors heard. And just like that, the story became viral (within our group).
On Thursday, I almost missed going to this group meeting I did not realize we had. Thought there was something wrong with my e-mail notifications or if the event planner forgot to include me in the e-mail. But I’m glad our manager grabbed me on the way.
“Congratulations!” is a word I don’t appreciate as much especially when it’s given by one or two people. I distaste it to keep my ego in check.
But what I realized is if that word was given to me by a group of people, it can pierce through thick vulnerability armor – I felt overwhelmed.
I’m not a big fan of surprises.
Not of attention either.
But man it felt nice…
Here, Take It!
I’m not used to receiving gifts.
Perhaps because I grew rarely receiving any.
Sounds sad? Yes, but I’m totally fine with it. I don’t see it as a loss at all.
But now with Lexi, I’ve been constantly accepting gifts – and I feel awkward about it.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I don’t like receiving gifts, I just prefer to give as opposed to receiving. Now, why is that?
I don’t know. I already feel blessed. Already thankful for everything that I have. I don’t need more. Anything I get more than that is a bonus.
Lately, I’ve been getting a lot of bonus – so much so that taking more feels like I’m being greedy.
What’s “normal” for others may be “too much” for me.
I have very low standards when it comes to receiving gifts – because I feel like I don’t deserve them.
This could be an issue of self-esteem.
If so, I prefer to keep it that way so I don’t get spoiled to a point where I want/expect more and more from others.
Pull Back
I planned on releasing my [Life Insurance related blogs] on Wednesdays.
But this Wednesday, I decided to not release a blog. Why? The new post requires more work…
I’ve been writing for a while now – enough to gauge how much work I need to put into a single post.
This weekly blog you are reading now does not require a lot of work because it’s really meant to be a “brain dump” – meaning, it’s just an online-documentation of my thoughts and stuff I go currently go through in my life.
But on blogs where my goal is to educate my audience or if I wanted to get my blog published on a popular website – I needed to spend more time on it. Such as these ones I wrote for [www.thoughtcatalog.com] on career and rejection. <“gatekeeper” before my blog gets published.
While that pushed me to put more effort into my writing, I stopped doing submitting articles to their website mainly because the stuff I wanna write about does not really resonate with the website’s type of content which is about.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about guest posting to push me to improve my writing skills. I think that would be the next phase on my journey to become a good writer.
A Year Ago This Week
I wrote about…
- how awkward things can quickly get with people you haven’t seen a long time.
- speed reading
- listening to pop-punk music
[Read here]
*lately, I’ve been digging the music by onelifecrew even though I don’t understand any of the shit they sing about LOL
Goal Update
Personal Projects
Been thinking about improving my craft lately – on writing and drawing.
While I now have less time to spend on drawing with MSPaint, I’m also thinking about creating a product catalog to promote my artwork.
I’m also thinking about going to an arts and crafts event to acquire feedback and criticism about my work.
Health
Day 20. Still sleep-deprived. Patience level is manageable. Reading time reduced. Watching TV time increased. Junk food intake increased. Routine is out-of-whack.
Finance
Contracting papers for my insurance broker license are now signed.